On the edge of something…

I knew something was trying to get my attention the last full day in Colorado. Before I had left, I implored my friend Paco, who has passed nearly 2 years now, to let me see him one last time in badger form. And on that last day there, I did see a badger. I saw [...]

You can say what you want but don’t act like you care

Last night as I was falling asleep, I felt the ties that bind unravel gently and fall away. Gone were the ties to the little micro groups that I was so active with just a few years ago. I think one of the things that I’ve learned from having so many friends in their late [...]

Nights of wine and invisibility

Warning: number_format() expects parameter 1 to be double, string given in /home/bchaffins/whyspers.5thelement.com/wp-content/plugins/livepress/LivePress/lpmoods.php on line 77

It’s official. Spring fever hit today. And the only thing more frustrating than having cabin fever is having it and not having any playmate available to take the edge off. So I am relegated to working on my task lists, going to PT, and playing music so loud it’ll drown out all of the excess [...]

Step one:

“Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don’t stand a chance against it” –The Snow Queen

Rain falls in real time

I have a short circuit between my body and my soul. They used to be really connected. Somehow, one part decided that the other part wasn’t doing its job and wandered off. It’s so difficult to dance without that connection. Both parts remember how good it feels to let loose and spin and undulate to [...]

I’m not the one I used to be

As a female, I naturally spend a fair amount of time looking at myself in the mirror.  Mostly in the morning when I am brushing my teeth and preparing for the day.  Often I look at myself critically, as a canvas to a painter, deciding what needs to be improved upon.  I don’t consider myself [...]

I’ve seen the paths that your eyes wander down, I want to come too

I got left behind. I keep thinking that and it really comes as a blow. I never figured myself as some one who ever got left behind. I’ve always been the one that forged ahead and plowed through and led the pack. And yet I’m counting instances of standing here looking around and finding myself [...]

And I want and I want and I want…

I am never satisfied. I am my happiest when I am breaking convention, demolishing records, exceeding expectations, and blowing away my competition. Anything less makes me fussy. fuss·y [fuhs-ee] –adjective, fuss·i·er, fuss·i·est. 1. excessively busy with trifles; anxious or particular about petty details. 2. hard to satisfy or please: a fussy eater. 3. (of clothes, [...]

Is you is, or is you ain’t

Every so often, my life spirals out of control. I live with an intense passion and the energy tends to well up and bowl me over if I don’t keep up the pace. Sometimes I am too many things at once to give any one aspect it’s due. I woke up far too early this [...]

think of me

My dearest say to me “You shouldn’t care what anyone else thinks of you.” I tell folks, “I don’t care what people think about me.” But then, I define people as humans I don’t care about. I do care what my friends and family think about me. Enough that I temper what I do and [...]