Is you is, or is you ain’t

Every so often, my life spirals out of control. I live with an intense passion and the energy tends to well up and bowl me over if I don’t keep up the pace. Sometimes I am too many things at once to give any one aspect it’s due. I woke up far too early this morning feeling like I was windmilling my spiritual arms frantically to keep my balance over the abyss. My inner wisdom has offered a hand in regaining my center by inspiring me to look deep into myself to find all that is right and good.

I am taking the time to choose what I want to make of my time.

I am giving myself a set of tools to help me regain my focus. These are my favorite things to be, so these are my measures.

I am a writer.

This means that I write. I journal. I create stories. I pen poetry. The thoughts in my head need to be taken out and crafted on paper or keyboard. I have pens and books to write it that inspire me. I love the feel of the nib skritching away on smooth paper. I adore words and derive pleasure from crafting the perfect phrase. People react well to my writing. Writing is second nature to me.

I am an artist.

I create beautiful things. My media is wood, canvas, fiber, and very honestly, anything my creative mind decides to attempt. The very act of creating something beautiful fuels my emotional well-being. When I let myself go, let my inhibitions and insecurities drop, my craft becomes amazing. I create for myself, it’s wonderful that others also enjoy what I do but not essential.

I am an amazing professional.

I excel at my tasks. I am creative and clever and perceptive. I thrive on solving problems quickly and accurately. I get a lot of personal satisfaction from impressing those around me with my abilities. I actually enjoy when people underestimate me because, in the end, I always come through. I not only have a genius level IQ, I also possess exemplary people skills. I understand what motivates people, which makes me a strong leader.

I am a gypsy princess free spirit.

I dance when the music moves me. I wear what I want, when I want. I love my body and the way that it moves. I love sensuality so very much that it is as much a part of me as breathing. I am magick. I love with every fiber of my being. I am empathetic, intuitive, and wise. I believe so hard that others around me have a hard time not being swept up in my world. My heart has an amazing capacity to extend sanctuary around those precious to me. I love the earth and protect what I can. I enjoy people and things because of the memories and emotions attached to them, not the collecting. I love being a sexual creature, and the pleasure I give and receive. I love without smothering, yet my embrace is ever present. I learn from my mistakes, and allow myself to recover and move ever forward. I am a survivor, and I flourish.

I know I can do better, but not at the expense of doing shoddy work in whatever I’m already involved by overextending myself. I cannot do it all, but I can make what I do matter.

When my life starts to get away from me, I will stop and look at what I’m doing and see if that is a reflection of the thing that I am, or just a reaction to events. I want to focus on being the best parts of this phenomenal creature I’ve become. The rest will just fall away.

I have mastered the concept I am attempting to define in one area of my life. I am an amazing cook. I am reasonable enough to realize that any one of my dishes may not please everyone, yet I know what I am capable of doing. I have lost the fear of making a mistake. I have overcome the trepidation of not knowing everything so that I can master the parts that I do know and fearlessly take on new flavors and methods. I can imagine the finished product so well in my head that I possess complete confidence that the result will be exactly the way I want it. My instinct and my will are in perfect harmony in the kitchen. Cooking is sensual and fun and a wonderful way of expressing myself. I want to live the other parts of my life with the same cunning and bravado. This is my goal.

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 29th, 2007 at 6:21 am and is filed under Lint, Purpose. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.


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